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We hand pick a few of the last 7 days’ weird, quirky and just plain funny tech happenings
Poking a bear with a stick (email):
In Germany it appears as though criminals are under appreciated, that and hugely underestimated. Unloved and without the romanticism of such greats as Billy the Kid these criminals must fight to have their stories told. Interestingly this leads us to a young 19-year old from Wuerzburg who after having robbed a bank was distressed and upset to see they had got the account all wrong. He emailed the authorities both mocking them and pointing out their mistakes, a natural procedure for any mis-told story. Not when you’re on the run: poor 19-year old from Wuerzburg was then promptly traced and arrested hours later. Lesson of the day: If you’ve committed a crime so uninteresting that even the papers don’t get it right, don’t then gloat to the police of your escape.
Darwin awards contender no. 11,783:
This is more a case of: technology-would-have-most-definitely-been-the-common-sense-option. Christopher Robinson 28 from Clacton-on-Sea was asked, like most men usually are, to dispose of a spider by his wife. Instead of going with the most common sense option of electronic fly swats Christopher thought it would be best to gas the fearsome arachnid with: deodorant. Unfortunately the light was out, so in a flash of brilliance Christopher reached for his lighter. I think we all know what happened next, the spider looked on with satisfaction and amusement as the can exploded, resulting in a burnt Christopher whose only response afterwards was to say “Luckily I had my boxer shorts on so I didn't get hurt in a sensitive place.” Bravo Mr Robinson, Bravo.
Thief sells phone back to owner:
Only the other week a young Californian had had the great misfortune to have his phone stolen, so decided to hit the classifieds to find a replacement. Almost immediately he spotted the perfect successor, it was almost identical to his old one. When the phone arrived through the post he was stunned to find it was his old one, with his phonebook still saved on the handset. Alerting the authorities, 28-year old Neil Hefner was then promptly arrested, finding in his possession hundreds of stolen goods. The best part? Hefner had even had the courtesy to put his own address on the package for returns, what a decent fellow.
‘Left a bit, not right a bit, oh s**t’:
Every new police car for South Yorkshire police is to be fitted with a parking sensor after it was found that the force was spending around £60,000 a year thanks to bad parking. It appears as though whilst fighting crime is their no.1 priority, reverse parking isn’t. Which would be quite understandable, if they were actually capable of doing it without hitting the police car next to them however. The excuse given by South Yorkshire Police was the icing on the cake however with Fleet Manager Martin Whysall saying "Police station yards were not necessarily designed for cars and they can be tight in terms of space.". Not designed for cars eh? Flying machines perhaps? Bicycles? We’ll let you decide.
Please excuse me, my dress is ringing:
London based fashion company CuteCircuit has come up with what they think is the invention of the century. A dress, that’s also a phone. The Sim-Card simply slots into the label whilst the antenna then sits in the hem. To make a call one simply raises the arm in a series of different ways to call different people. Unfortunately we can already see a flaw to this invention, well two actually. Firstly if you can only call a few people, how will you then call anyone else? Secondly, how many taxi’s will you inadvertently wave down by flailing to answer your phone?
Ghostbuster car up for sale:
For us, top pieces of gadgetry fiction include the Lightsaber, Hover-board and James Bond jetpack and finally it has to be Ecto 1, the retro-yet-futuristic Caddy that powered the Ghostbusters through to victory every time. Well now it seems you can get your mits on one thanks to coachbuilder Chirs Reynolds. Having spent £65,000 restoring the Caddilac S&S ambulance he has finally decided it's time to pass on this hugely nostalgic wonder. Don't expect to be going anywhere long distance though, it's not because it's in any way not functioning, the V8 engine under the hood works just fine, but at 8mpg you may just run out of money trying to fill it up before you get anywhere.
Plane engine explodes, pilot: ‘Tad busy here..’:
Now before you head off into the misty unknown haze of the weekend, unaware of what adventures await you, here’s a piece of vaguely related tech-news that will have you smiling. Yesterday, a Qantas flight took off from San Francisco heading to Sydney laden with passengers and unknown to them, a pilot blessed with insane levels of calm and the gift of the gab. Half an hour into the flight disaster strikes, one of the Boeing 747’s engines quite literally explodes from the inside out. Passengers fear for their lives as panic breaks out in the cabin to which the pilot attempts to calm the passengers by saying: “Ladies and gentlemen, as you can appreciate we’re a tad busy in the flight deck at the moment.” He then goes on to try and calm the situation by pointing out “We are trained for this situation. Normally, we do it in a simulator, of course – but we are trained.” Superb.
Posted by Thomas Tamblyn
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